After a long – a very long (years) of thinking and debating I’ve come to realize that it’s time to cut ties with a very toxic family. I will be leaving in March and moving to Seattle. A much better place. I’ve tried for years to do the family thing and though I’m not married – my family isn’t really a family. There is a difference between family and being related. It’s toxic. I did some research in making this decision that couldn’t be made lightly. The following are things are a list of things that let you know something has to be done. I’m a 30 something girl and as in many of my other posts you’ve seen that I’m me, and the things that I enjoy are not things my family enjoys. I was raised in a very religious home/family and some of that has led to reasons I am cutting ties. I have no family.
What is unacceptable treatment?
Rejection, abandonment, not taking the time to get to know you or to be in your life, making you feel unwelcome, someone being competitive or hypercritical of you, pressuring or forcing you to be someone you are not, blaming, ostracizing, manipulating, belittling, neglecting and abusing you…the list goes on and on and on. These types of experiences can make a deep imprint on our hearts and inhibit our ability to react without them being present in the back of our mind’s. Our reactions to life become sceptical, doubtful, fearful and we more often see the dark instead of the light in both people and situations.
These negative experiences can jade us for a lifetime, unless we learn to do whatever it takes to get ourselves into a positive nurturing environment and replace negatively influenced reactions with positive ones.
What are the signs indicating that you could use a break or change?
-Your own health and mental well-being is damaged
-You feel emotionally, physically and/or spiritually injured
-The relationships with your immediate family/spouse/partner is suffering
-There is violence, physical and/or emotional abuse
-There is substance abuse
-There are constant struggles for power
-There is unnecessary distrust and disrespect